Some Tips When You Feel Angry or Hurt

How to Manage Angry Feelings Constructively

These are tips and some helpful ideas about managing angry or hurt feeling constructively:

Keep in mind that angry feelings are not disgraceful. Everyone has them at times and everyone must struggle to handle them wisely.

Be willing to admit your feelings. Do not try to pretend they do not exist.

Remember that some good can come out of your angry feelings. For example, they may lead to a discussion that clears the air and gives you a better idea of another person’s viewpoint. Or the feelings may result in a wrong being pointed out and corrected.

If you are angry about on injustice, look for possible ways to correct the situation.

Try to work off your angry feelings through some physical activity such as taking a walk, raking the yard, pounding a ball hard, doing some carpentry, or cleaning house. Physical activity helps drain off your angry feelings and leaves you better able to cope with the situation that has caused these feelings.

If you frequently feel angry and quarrelsome, stop and ask yourself, “Is it because I always want my own way?” If so, “Why do I always want my own way?” Then try giving in occasionally. If you give others their way at times, they are more likely to go along with you at other times.

When everything seems to be going wrong and you are too angry and upset to figure out what to do, try to turn your attention to something else for a while. Work on a hobby, watch a television program, play a game, visit with a friend, or get a job done. Try to think through your problem when your feel calm and better able to cope with it.

When you have angry feelings that stay with you for a while, talk them over with someone – a parent; teacher; your minister; priest; or rabbi; scout leader; or some other adult you trust. Talking things out helps get your feelings into the open where you may be able to see what can be done about them. You realize, of course, that you should not go around telling everyone about your angry feelings. But it does help to talk things over someone who will keep your confidence and offer counsel to help you.